CREAR LA POSIBILIDAD DE TRANSFORMACIÓN

Transformational Counseling is about assisting another to transform his life. Transforming ones life is not about changing it. While life is much about doing differently, the genesis of the transformation is about a person altering or transforming his belief or thought of who he thinks he is. We tend to believe that our life is determined or influenced by people, places, things, situations and circumstance and that who we are is the mere accumulation of our past experiences but this is not so. Rather, it is our thoughts and beliefs that determine our experiences and life and also that we are completely and solely responsible for their creation. What we think and believe, especially about ourselves, determines our emotions and behavior in the world and it is our behavior that merely validates what we think and believe about ourselves. Furthermore, we believe or think that we know who we are in life but the reality is that we truly do not. Much of who we are really being we are simply not present to. Much of our life is spent in pretense and who we are really being is hidden from us.

Given that much of our life is lived in pretense, from the construct of ego, becoming present to that which is hidden, to who we are being in life, is absolutely necessary for transformation. It is in that which is primarily hidden from us that one will discover what is determining ones life, referred to here as ones self-limiting belief. The first component of the transformational process is for one to become present to the hidden thoughts and beliefs that have been limiting him in life and in particular to his self-limiting belief. It is in the being of the self-limiting belief that one will discover the primary constraint or barrier to his life, to him living a life that he loves and living it powerfully. We live life from who we think we are. Who we think we are forms the context for our life. Having the awareness or distinction of the self-limiting belief allows one the ability to not be it, to not have his life be merely the probable almost certain future from the past. Without the distinction of the self-limiting belief one will continue to create his life from the backdrop of this ideational barrier and as a result life will appear much as it did in the past.

Becoming present to that which has been hidden, to that which has been truly determining his being in life, allows one the opportunity to transform his life. Once one gets who he has been being in life, the second component of transformative process is for the individual to begin to create his life as a possibility. Once the distinction of the self-limiting belief is gotten, the individual is now able to truly create a new possibility for himself and his life. Getting the self-limiting belief creates the space or an opening for a possibility or possibilities to be invented not as a result or product of the barrier or constraint but from or out of nothing. It is only from nothing that possibility can truly be created. As with the self-limiting belief, possibility exists in language. Once one gets the language that he has been being, that has defined and limited him through being his self-limiting belief, it is at this point that he can begin to recreate himself through the power of his word. Who we are is our word. In is in ones language or word created out of nothing that one has access to possibility and transformation.

The technique described below is designed to assist an individual in becoming present to his self-limiting belief and in the process to create the space or opening for him to invent a possibility or possibilities for recreating his life.

1. Find a relaxing and comfortable space to sit in for approximately one hour. Arrange for this space to be free of any distractions. Just allow yourself to begin to relax. Become present to where and who you are. The use of therapeutic relaxation music can promote the development of a very profound sense of relaxation to enhance this experience.

2. Take a notebook and begin to write down everything that you believe describes or defines who you are. Let your mind wander and do not try to filter or block out anything. Just let whatever comes up about yourself, how you feel and what you think about yourself, to be written down. Who you think you are or that which bests describes you may appear in single words or short phrases. If in a group, share your description of yourself with others. Furthermore, make two lists as there will appear to be both positives and negatives aspects about who you think you are.

3. Sit your notebook down, close your eyes and begin to relax deeply again. Again, the use of therapeutic relaxation music will assist you in the process of creating a very deep state of relaxation. As you begin to move into a deep state of relaxation allow yourself to begin to drift back through time, back through your life, back through your adulthood, adolescence and into your childhood. Allow yourself to become present to how you were being, experiences, thoughts and feelings, through the various phases or stages of your life. Just become present to or notice what appears for you.

4. Open your eyes and return to work on your notebook. Take a look at what you have written and add anything that you became present to about yourself during the above mentioned relaxation exercise. Again, do not filter out anything but merely allow whatever there is to come to the surface, both the positive and negative words that best describes who you think and feel you are or were.

5. Once you have come to a completion of creating the lists, both positive and negative, consider that the positives of who you think yourself to be form the pretense of your life and that their design or function is to fix the negatives of who you think you are.

6. Allow yourself to become present to the negatives you have written down. Notice which one of the negatives best describes who you are, what you commonly believe and feel about yourself, what you have experienced in your mind in the past and even now. Declare the negative aspect that is familiar to you to be your self-limiting belief.

7. Place your notebook in your lap. Allow yourself to become fully present to the fact that what you have written is you, is who you believe yourself to be. Become present to an inauthentic way of being, the positive as pretense and the negatives as that which we hide from ourselves and the world.

8. Place the notebook into your past. If you are right handed place your notebook to your left. If you are left handed place your notebook to your right. Place the notebook approximately three feet from you.

9. Once you place your notebook into your past allow yourself to become present to where your notebook is in relation to your body, to your right or left. Allow yourself to again become present to that which you have written in your notebook is who you believe you are and that it exists to either your right or left.

10. Once you become present to who you believe yourself to be, to the description of yourself as you have written, allow yourself to become present to what now lies in front of you. Given that who you think you are is either to your left or right, become present to what exists in front of you is nothing, an opening from which everything and anything is possible and can be created.

11. Inside the nothing that appears in front of you, invent a possibility or possibilities for yourself and your life. Declare your possibility in language or word, of who you will take on being in life, for yourself. Furthermore, this declaration becomes your personal affirmation of who you will be in and for the world.

12. Repeat this exercise everyday. Repeating this exercise daily will allow one to continue to stay present to his self limiting belief so as to not be it and also to the possibility or possibilities that he has created and invented for himself and his life. Continuing this exercise will also allow the further possible unveiling of the self-limiting belief. The self-limiting belief that one initially becomes present to may reveal even deeper meaning for who one is or has been being.

The exercise outlined above is about the work of the first two components of Transformational Counseling and one beginning the process of transformation. Once one gets the distinction of his self-limiting belief and creates a possibility or possibilities for himself and his life, the third component of transformation involves learning the process of enrollment. Enrollment is a powerful technique for allowing one to stay living into his possibility and out of his self-limiting belief. The fourth component of transformation is about creating a daily plan. The daily plan allows one the opportunity to continue to live into or generate his possibility in his life on a daily basis. The fifth component of transformation involves a commitment to stay in the conversation of transformation. It is in staying in the conversation that one experiences the nonlinear nature of transformation thereby keeping the process alive in his life.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com

8 Mayores temores dos, lograr el éxito de transformación

Have you ever had difficulty keeping a simple commitment to yourself? Sure. Nearly everyone I know has, sometime or another, found him or herself "trapped"—wanting to do something yet not acting on their intentions.

So why don't we do some of the things we want to or know we should—like improving our health and building a better body?

Let's say you keep putting off that new fitness program. You can even imagine what it might mean to you: having a firm, strong, healthy body; feeling an abundance of energy; newfound confidence and sex appeal... Still, you don't do it. So why do you keep putting it off? What's preventing you from taking those first steps?

Consider this...

My observation is that our minds tend to see the obstacles first—those barriers that lie between where we are now and where we want to be or who we want to become. Just as fast as you conceive of achieving your new body, your mind begins to spout out every excuse it can come up with why you can't attain your goal. So even before we can initiate any action, we literally paralyze ourselves.

And once your head begins to fill with all the obstacles that could potentially keep you from achieving your newfound goal, suddenly your desire to even try is crushed.

But what if all the obstacles were removed?

Think about it for a moment: if whatever deterred you from attempting to build your very best body suddenly vanished, you'd have no fear to stop you, right?

What if I showed you how to take those obstacles and instantly transform them into strategies for achieving success... Would you consider starting, or sticking to, your new (or current) fitness plan then?

"... we can choose to transform those circumstances that oppose us into specific decisions and actions that can lead us to our goals."The truth is, we can choose to transform those circumstances that oppose us into specific decisions and actions that can lead us to our goals. True empowerment you can use to your advantage!

Let me explain...

The Breakthrough Technique
So how can we break through our fears, smash those barriers, and transform those obstacles into strategies for achieving our fitness goals? It's really quite simple—allow me to introduce you to the Breakthrough Technique. Here I've taken the eight most feared obstacles that potentially stand in the way of your success, followed by a very specific success strategy to blast through them and help you reach your fitness and physique development goals.

Are you ready? Great... let's get started!

Obstacle #1: I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME.
Believe or not, individuals who achieve extraordinary levels of success have days just as hectic as ours. They've got obligations: commitments to work, friends, and family. And let's face it, we're all confined to an equal amount of time—the same 24 hours. Yet some people find the time to continually make exercise a part of their daily routine.

So how do they do it? Simple—they create it. You can instantly create time if you begin to plan, plan, and plan some more. That means planning your days ahead, at least a day in advance, sometimes even a week in advance. One of the best time-creating techniques is to make a list of your daily "to-dos" and schedule when you're going to exercise. (This is a common challenge—we forget how important it is to schedule an appointment with ourselves to exercise.)

Then divide your "to-dos" into things you must do and things you would like to do, so you're less likely to confuse urgency with importance. You see, getting to the gym is important, whereas getting your haircut may seem urgent when you're running late but can certainly be rescheduled. And before you do anything, always ask yourself what you could be doing that would be more productive.

Success Strategy #1: PLAN AHEAD. Creating the time you need to exercise is easy! Plan your days in advance by creating action lists of the most important things to accomplish each day.

Obstacle #2: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Don't know what exercises to do to help you get the most out of your workouts? Not sure what to eat, when, to help you put on muscle and shed that unwanted bodyfat? And supplements, well, these can be downright confusing!

That's all understandable: there are just so many techniques, recommended by so many "fitness experts." So, whose advice can you trust? It can become paralyzing. So instead of trying to sort through all the (mis)information, stop right now: keep yourself from chasing every exercise theory or latest diet craze. But this doesn't sound like it will do us any good, does it?

So how do you find the answers? It's simple—model the success of others. For example, try our free programs like Maximum Growth, the Lean System Success Plan, or the 21-Day Energy Plan.

The greatest thing about success is that it leaves clues, and if we pay close attention, we can pick up those clues and model the actions and behaviors to produce similar results. Find people, whether in person or in a magazine, who have achieved the type of extraordinary success you wish to achieve, and find out what they did. It's really as easy as that.

"If you follow a proven approach to exercise, nutrition, and supplementation, you will achieve similar success."Success Strategy #2: STUDY A SUCCESSFUL FORMULA—AND FOLLOW IT. Seek someone who has achieved the "extraordinary" results you desire and learn from his or her "winning" actions. If you follow a proven approach to exercise, nutrition, and supplementation, you will achieve similar success.

Obstacle #3: I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY.
Do you wake up every morning feeling energized, powerful, and ready to take on the day? Or do you rise feeling as tired as the night before, resenting that a new day has presented itself so soon? Do you fear your current energy levels would never allow you to participate in a fitness program?

This is a great example of the perceived problem—your lack of energy to exercise—being the ultimate solution. We might believe we're too exhausted to exercise, but in reality, we lack energy simply because we don't exercise!

It's been scientifically proven that incorporating exercise into our lives actually gives us more energy. Moderate levels of exercise can even help us sleep better at night, so we wake up renewed.

How else can you bolster energy levels?

As long as we feed ourselves with properly balanced protein- and carbohydrate-rich meals, we feel an immediate impact on our energy levels. The more closely we keep to our preferred eating strategy, the better we feel, period. Feeding our bodies every two to three hours throughout the day provides us with a stable, constant supply of nutrients required to be more energetic.

Success Strategy #3: GIVE YOUR ENERGY A BOOST. Exercise and proper nutrition play a vital role in our energy levels and allow us to perform at peak levels daily.

Obstacle #4: I HATE SETTING GOALS.
Goals come from having a clear vision of what you want. Knowing you want to build your very best body is great start, but you need something more than that—a statement so compelling it literally pulls you, like a magnet, in the direction of its achievement.

So, maybe you're not certain how to set effective goals? If that's you, then don't worry, everyone starts off this way... To really set effective fitness goals and ensure you'll reach them, you're going to have to learn what I call the S.M.A.R.T. goal-setting technique. Not only will this technique enable you to set the most effective goals, it will help focus your efforts on exactly what you want to achieve.

S.M.A.R.T. stands for:

Specific—you must be specific about what you want to achieve, creating your goal in the present tense. That means using "I am in the process of..." to start your goal statement.
Measurable—how do you measure "better shape" or "slimmer waist"? You can't. So scale your goal to a specific number (e.g., 10% bodyfat, a 33-inch waist, or a size six).
Action-oriented—you must be able to create an action list of things you must do to achieve success.
Realistic—make certain your goal is realistic yet stretches you, given your expectations and timeframe.
Time-conscience—a date forces us to give it priority and puts positive pressure on you to achieve it.
Success Strategy #4: TRANSFORM YOUR FITNESS GOALS. Using the S.M.A.R.T. technique will ensure you've set an effective and commanding goal and will not only clarify your path to success but will compel you to achieve it.
Obstacle #5: THERE'S TOO MUCH RISK.
The physical transformation that takes place on your outside (your body) is really a metaphor for the mental (inner) transformation that takes place on the inside. You see, not only should your chosen program change the way you look, it is just as important that it change the way you feel about yourself.

"...not only should your chosen program change the way you look, it is just as important that it change the way you feel about yourself."Every time we purchase the latest miracle pill, workout gadget, or eight-minute solution, we're just avoiding the process of a true transformation and trying to find a quick fix. This is nothing more than treating the symptoms and not the causes. It does nothing to improve our self-esteem, confidence, or personal power.

Let me share a little secret with you and save you time, money, and frustration: this approach never works. And you'll never feel a true sense of fulfillment when you try this type of "magic bullet" approach. Unless you start from the inside, you're sure to find yourself right back where you started, only more disappointed.

We must challenge ourselves to find a solution that involves total balance—a complete solution that integrates some very essential elements, such as proper nutrition and supplementation, cardiovascular and weight-training exercise, and most importantly, strengthening our inner self, our minds.

Your chosen program should help you set commanding goals, transform your old, self-defeating beliefs into new, empowering beliefs, and transform your patterns so you're continually producing results that take you closer to your goals.

Remember, you can't transform a lifetime of poor habits in matter of days. It takes time—a couple of months at best. Rest assured, following a solution that allows you to first transform your inside and then your outside is sure plan for long-term success.

Success Strategy #5: FOLLOW AN INSIDE-OUT APPROACH. To successfully transform your physique and achieve your fitness goals, follow an approach that focuses first on increasing your self-esteem and building confidence, before you concentrate on your physique, and you'll more likely be able to create extraordinary results that will last a lifetime.

Obstacle #6: I CAN'T STAY COMMITTED.
There's a huge difference between intentions and action. And the difference is commitment.

Our commitment to our goals leads us to achievement, even during the toughest times. There is a direct relationship between motivation and commitment. And if you're really committed to making a change now, the only way to make it happen is to create a sense of immediate importance.

You can do this by attaching reasons that are so compelling and so intense you must follow through. So right now, ask yourself the following questions and come up with at least three intensely compelling reasons you must commit to your transformation goals.

What will this cost me if I don't change right now?
What has this cost me so far, concerning my health, physical condition, self-confidence, and energy levels?
If I do change now, how will I feel about myself?
How will this impact my life?
What will I gain as a result?"
Your answers to these questions will help you gain an immediate understanding of what you're committed to and why!

Success Strategy #6: IDENTIFY YOUR REASONS. Clearly state your reasons for wanting to change and make them so compelling you become truly committed to achieving your fitness goals.

Obstacle #7: I LACK THE CONFIDENCE TO SUCCEED.
Sometimes the accomplishment of our goals might seem so overwhelming, the immediate temptation is to give up before we even start—which diminishes our self-confidence even further. It's true. We can't gain confidence until we take action. Yet, we don't want to take action until our confidence levels are raised sufficiently. See the "catch"?

Take, for example, the intimidating obstacle of your entire fitness goal needing to be achieved in a giant, single step. Now that's paralyzing, isn't it?

"... to gain confidence, you must break your fitness goal down into measurable steps."That's why, to gain confidence, you must break your fitness goal down into measurable steps. For example, if you wanted to lose 12% bodyfat within 12 weeks, then you could realistically set your increments for one percent of bodyfat reduction per week. This way, you don't have to focus on the whole goal at any given time, nor do you notice all that you have not yet accomplished; instead you can focus entirely on the smaller, manageable steps ahead. This gives you a tremendous sense of control and achievement. Building your confidence, each step of the way.

By the time you are nearing the end of your first couple of weeks of your fitness program, despite the ups and downs in progress, you will begin to feel more confident. You will be determined to advance one more step and make the effort to complete your fitness program and build your very best body.

Suddenly, as the fear dissipates, you will discover newfound confidence. And best of all, you will have achieved what you once thought was impossible—one increment at a time.

Success Strategy #7: MEASURE YOUR PROGRESS. Success is accomplished only through measuring your progress, always from where you're coming from (backwards). This way, you will never lack a sense of accomplishment, and you'll build your confidence with each and every step.

Obstacle #8: I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MOTIVATION.
So you need a source of motivation in your life—something to get you out of bed in the morning and carry you through the day?

One way is to continually "see" what you want to become by finding a picture of someone's physique you would most like to emulate (probably in your favorite fitness magazine), cut it out, and hang it someplace you're likely to see it over and over again throughout the day. You might even write down your reasons for wanting to achieve this goal with the photo.

By seeing the body you want to achieve in front of you all the time, you'll be pointing your subconscious toward the realization of these results. This constant source of inspiration is a reminder of where you are going. It's called bringing focus to the center of your awareness.

Success Strategy #8: FIND AN INSPIRATION. Discover your inspiration, someone who has turned his or her body and life from ordinary to extraordinary, and use that as your source of daily fuel. Look for inspiration in our Success Stories, such as David Silbaugh, Marina Popelka, and Mark Harden, who have each reached their goals and are now helping others do the same.

Final thoughts
Remember, building a better body does not follow an absolute straight line. Life doesn't work that way. But now that you've found the principle of turning literally any obstacle into a stepping stone for your success, you can create the fitness and physique results you so desire.

By committing to turning these once fearful obstacles into powerful success strategies, you will begin to create extraordinary results in your physique and ultimately achieve your fitness goals.

If there are any other obstacles I overlooked, please email me (at Stephen@realsolutionsmag.com, and I will gladly help you create a success strategy to blast through it.